Monday, March 17, 2008

2008 Predictions

As we are a couple of weeks from 1st pitch of the 2008 season, it's time for our 2008 predictions:

March 31 - The Yankees rotation consists of CMW, Pettitte, Hughes, Moose and IPK
Bullpen - Mo, Farns, Hawkins, Joba, Veres, Ohlendorf and Traber

March 31 - Red Sox pitcher Hideki Okajima's soul begins serving its sentence of eternity in hell as payment for the 2.22 ERA and 0.97 whip achieved in 2007 with an 86 MPH fastball and mediocre secondary pitches.

April 15 - Alex Rodriguez blasts his 12th HR of the young season.

April 15 - Manny Ramirez mysteriously disappears for 4 days. It is later revealed that while visiting a hospital for the 'Mentally Challenged' Manny was mistaken for a patient and held in a rubber room. The director of the Center apologized but stated "We tested him thoroughly and if he's not a patient here he certainly should be."

May 15 - IPK - 4-2, 4.25; Joba - 1-1, 1.66; Phil - 3-2, 4.31

May 15 - Sox 'Ace' Josh Beckett makes his first start of the year after battling back, shoulder, elbow, blister and ego problems.

June 15 - Robbie Cano - .325/9/44; Jeet - .335/6/48; Arod .310/30/72

June 15 - Sox' 1B Kevin Youkilis is admitted to a Boston Hospital with rabies. Apparently he was bitten by the hedgehog that had attached himself to Youlikis' face.

July 10 - Yankee All-star starters- Cano/Jeet/Arod; pitchers - CMW (10-3, 3.35), Mo (2-3, 1.06), Joba (4-2, 1.86) Yanks lead the AL East by 4 games

July 10 - Sox pitcher Clay Buchholz is arrested driving a truck with 30 stolen computers in the back. After his arraignment Buchholtz promises to check himself into a rehab facility claiming "I have a disease."

July 15 - Yankee bullpen - Mo, Farns, Hawkins, Veras, Ohlendorf, Ramirez, Karstens

July 15 - Sox reliever Jonathan Papplepuss is out for the year after seperating his right shoulder by vehimently pumping his fist after winning a game of 'go-fish' in the clubhouse against a 12 year old ball boy.

Aug 1 - IPK - 8-4, 4.37; Phil - 12-6, 3.83; Joba in 4 starts - 1-2, 4.92 as a starter

Aug 1 - After his first rehab start for the Pawtucket Sox in which he threw 2 shut-out innings, pitcher Curt Schilling is caught putting fake blood on his jersey before trying to send it to the Hall of Fame. Says Schilling - "The blood is real! I am such a gamer, huh? I amaze myself! I just don't know how I do it!"

September 1 - After 8 ineffective starts and an ERA around 5.00, Joba is sent back to the 'pen.

September 1 - Sox 'Ace' Josh Beckett makes his 2nd start of the year

September 15 - Yanks lead Blue Jays by 7 games and Red Sox by 12

Oct 1 - Cano - 330/26/110; Jeet - 342/17/88; Arod - 316/66/162

ALDS - Yanks beat wild card winner Cleveland in 4 games
ALDS - Mariners beat Detroit in 5 games

ALCS - Yanks beat Mariners in 6 games

World Series - Yanks beat Cubs in 5 games

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